Why don't friends with kids have time?

I thought this article was funny! I came across it on a friend of a friends blog. Even with only one child, sometimes I find myself asking what do I really do all day? Some days I feel like I get nothing done but at the end of the day I felt like I was busy all day and I'm exhausted. This article reminds me of all the responsibilities and things I do as a mother! I wanted to share it with other moms too for a probably much needed reminder of how important your job is. Even though it may not necessarily be something that can be seen, measured, or listed out with ease every day, I think that being a mother is one of the hardest and most important things you'll ever do in your life.

I've been asked before, when do you have time to blog? Well, when I get a moment to myself , whether it is during one of Laila's short naps :) or after she's gone to bed, this is one of the things I like to do. This blog is kind of like my memory book to Laila and our family, so I do it when I can in the spare moments that I get every now and then. I hear people ask stay-at-home moms, "What do you do all day?" I don't hold this question against anyone personally because most people probably aren't asking it accusingly. Usually you only get these kind of questions from people that don't have kids or don't stay at home, so of course, they probably wouldn't understand. Before, that question used to make me feel like I was wasting my days and that my job as a mother was easier than someone who had to go to an office all day. This article has definitely made me rethink this and has renewed my confidence in what I do all day every day. It is a blessing and a joy indeed to be able to stay at home with my child and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but being a mother is definitely not a day at the beach!

You should be able to read the article a little easier if you click on the image below. If not, I've also copied and pasted the words below. Get ready to laugh, especially if you are a mom!





● Dear Carolyn: My best friend has a child. Her: Exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . . OK. I've done Internet searches; I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please, no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners. . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them every day. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day, and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events), and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy — not a bad thing at all — but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids, and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions. — Tacoma, Wash.
● Dear Tacoma:
Relax and enjoy. You're funny. Or you're lying about having friends with kids. Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them. Internet searches? I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand — while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom friends are either lying or competing with you — is disingenuous indeed. So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries and questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head. It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15. It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier. It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family members and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting the constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense. It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. Everything. It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy — and then when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, you wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend — a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends or marvel at how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.
~reprinted without permission